BULLETPROOF RESULTS

Oh my.  It has been 6 months and I realized I have not updated my blog in all that time! Where did the time go and what is up with that Bulletproof protocol?

Well here you go....the good news is that I have had amazing results on Bulletproof!  I have been eating strictly Bulletproof, and focusing eating per the protocol, a lot less carbs, while fluctuating carb re-feeds.  I am 5 sizes smaller.  (I stopped using the bathroom scales).  I have simply adapted this mode of eating and the weight and fat has melted off.  I can honestly say this has been EASY.   

Before I began this protocol, I was certain that I could not abstain from many of the foods that were not Bulletproof, especially bread and pasta.  But I did and I am here to tell  you that I don't miss or crave either one.  At all.

I'm still on track and I have another 3.5 sizes I would like to lose, so I am going to continue on the same path and then adjust things to maintain my success. More recently,  I have indulged in a few "forbidden foods": french fries/potatoes, cheese, alcohol and frozen yogurt, without negative repercussions. These occasions are rare. I eat Bulletproof 90% of the time.

I feel like this is an effortless way of eating.  I no longer have to think about what I am going to eat/should eat and it feels like an organic transfer for me. This is the first time in my adult life that I can say I have been able to eat good food and lose weight. I have not felt deprived, hungry or had to work out hours a week in order to attain my weight loss.  

I have more updates to make to add, but I will save them for another post.

BULLETPROOF FROM THE INSIDE OUT

I started on the Bulletproof Diet on May 4, 2015.  I prefer to call it the Bulletproof Protocol, since “diet” implies short-term, and I intend to continue with this long after my fat loss is complete.


This is my Bulletproof journey.


For over a year I have felt myself spiraling into apathy about my weight, my age and it became so bad that it began to bleed into my lifelong dreams.  I had zero energy, slept horrible almost every single night.  The nights I did sleep soundly were so rare, that they were a cause for celebration. I felt OLD.  I'd lost my desire to do anything other than just sit on my tush.  I hated the way I looked and more than that, the way I felt.


I was exhausted, negative, short-tempered and angry.  All the time.  What had happened to me?  Where did the happy, positive, upbeat girl go?   I wanted her back.  I missed the way I used to be, the way I used to enjoy my life.


I knew I needed to get “back on track” with healthy eating and working out, but I had absolutely NO motivation.  None.


By chance, at our son’s house, on Easter Sunday, his friend Nick was talking about his Bulletproof coffee and I was intrigued.  I listened closely, asked questions, and then I began reading everything I could on this Bulletproof Diet and Coffee idea.  I was game.


I will admit that I was hesitant to give up all of the foods that were listed as “suspect” and “toxic” but I also feared that those foods were a bigger part of my problem than just 60 extra pounds and I was determined to go all in and give it 100%.


Good-bye breads, wheat, grains, legumes, cheese, dairy (except grass-fed butter), most fruits, and SUGAR.


Hello, grass fed meats, low-carb veggies, berries and my future good health!


The first week of detoxing off of everything I had been fueling my body with, all at once, was not pleasant.  I felt unwell and woke with a headache each morning* and it returned every afternoon at around 3pm.  On the fifth day, I literally felt “homicidal”  I wanted to tear heads off and scream at the top of my lungs.  I pushed through the day (without harming anyone) and woke on the sixth day feeling AMAZING!
*waking with a headache is something I suffered from for years, so that part was not anything new. 


The change in the way I felt was miraculous.  I had mental clarity and focus,  lots of energy and was back to feeling positive.  The intense anger that previously consumed me, had vanished.  I was excited about making plans and following my dreams.  My creativity kicked back in and I really did begin to feel invincible.


I am a believer in the Bulletproof  lifestyle.


After a month on the protocol and being so ecstatic at how much BETTER I FEEL,  I can also report that I am nearly two pants sizes smaller (I am using my clothing size as my success gauge over the scale, since the scale does not give an accurate picture of what is truly going on with fat loss and inches). Every week, my clothes fit better, looser and I can get into clothes that were impossible to wear before.  I took measurements a week ago and will be keeping a log of the inches lost every month too.  I should have done that on day 1 but didn’t.


I am incorporating HIIT workouts a few times a week (20 minutes), but no more endless hours on the treadmill, just short high intensity workouts and done.   In between, those, I can enjoy some "active rest" activities: walks/hikes, bike rides and maybe get the golf clubs back out!


For me the biggest part of the success of being Bulletproof is how I feel. Getting the extra weight and fat off is a bonus!  I am back into my creative zone and I feel like my brain has been awakened from a stupor.  I am excited to get back into my daily writing and tap into my new found creativity.

REFLECTION IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR

Last year was hard.

The trials of 2014 left me feeling stale. Without inspiration.

I dreamed of feeling inspired again. I dreamed and prayed for the passion for my dreams I had before, to return to me. I relied on whatever fraction of energy I could scrape up, to get through each day and survive the frustration, confusion, sadness, anger and depression that those days contained.

Sometimes those emotions beat me down and consumed me. Some days they made me feel ugly. I despised the conflict that brewed inside of me, but I kept it there, rather than spewing it out. All of those emotions bubbled up and often came out of me as tears rolling down my face. No words, just tears.

It takes a lot to put on a happy face, and push through the day. I did it day after day. Some days were harder than others, but at the end of each hard day, I knew I could do it one more day. And I did it all. With God.

I know that it was God who held me up above all of what was pulling me down. He was beside me, with me, holding me safely in the palm of his hand. In the dark stillness of the night when sleep eluded me, it was God who was there in the quiet. In the turmoil of my days, it was God who offered calm in those moments.

Through the trials and hurdles of last year, I became stronger. It as if I am coming up from under the water, breathing air again. Fresh, crisp clean air. Thank you God.

2015 will be a year of change and the return of inspiration.

THIS GIRL--A POEM

Little girl,
you were always happiest
losing yourself
in your imaginary worlds
Batman, secret agent, cowgirl in the west.

Good girl,
yes mam, no sir, thank you and please
so tender hearted
in your southern world
loving Jesus, praying on your knees.

Hurt girl,
you learned quick and hard
trust vigilantly
in your dangerous world
watch, listen, wait and guard.

Wise girl,
today you know better
living boldly in your writer world
scribbling out your heart with letters.

God's girl,
everyday you learn anew
taking chances
in your bold world
knowing God never left you.

WRITING MY WAY THROUGH

Here I am. It is day one of 2015. This year is beginning all shiny and fresh.

It is a crisp, white, blank sheet of paper waiting for me to write the script. Waiting for me to take my pencil and make that first broad stroke of the first letter of the first word of my story.

This story will not be last year's story. It does not start the same. It will not end the same. In this story, I commit to write 500 words a day, to pursue better health and be more active, to be better. To not quit. I will continue to chase my dreams, laugh, love, listen to my heart and have faith.

This story. I will not know what each chapter will hold for me. But I will help write it. This story may have more tight turns and steep hills than I expect. And it is likely that I will get lost along the way, from time to time, but in my faith, I will find my way. I will find myself in new territory and my past may help me conquer old ghosts. I may find my superpowers when I least expect to. I may chase my muse in the darkness or we may dance together across a page.

This will be an adventure.

I will face the monsters. I will stare down my fear and write through the darkness and when the light of day finds me still writing, I will be smiling. I will celebrate my wins and push against my struggles. I will sharpen my pencil and my wit against my arch enemy--writer's block. I will scribble my way out of the terrifying corner, I may write myself into. I will push on. I will not concede.

I will step bravely into each day with kindness, a willingness to learn and I will be eager to find more wisdom with each chapter. When the words flow easily I will say a prayer of thanks, when they stutter, I will pray for help. I will use the lessons I learn from the previous chapter to create the next. I will learn to be brave. I will not let my scars keep me from believing I can fly again. Instead, I will sail through the sky of second chances. I will not let hurdles become walls and fear become a force. I will learn when to tiptoe around the creaky boards and when to run into the crashing waves to tell part of the story. I may have to face the demons that taunt me in my dreams and chase the shadows out of the corners of long forgotten pain.

I will dig deep for the strength within me when it is needed. I will not shirk from wading into the deep cold water when I am called to swim. Along the way, I will remember to look up and lose myself in a star filled sky, savor the warmth of a sunny day and welcome the rain when it falls. The seasons are quick to pass and I must be able to write my way through them.

I am ready.

Let my story begin.