As the 22nd of September passed, marking a month without Kona, I realized that I hate this new normal that we have been trying to adjust to. It is not normal at all. 

Will we ever get used to coming home without Kona's over-the-top, tail wagging, turning circles, dancing-dog-love greeting that we still expect every day?  

Every morning I expect to find her sleeping on the floor on my side of the bed when I get up in the morning, but she is not there. 

I miss the two large ceramic bowls that held her food and water in our kitchen...they have always been there and now they are not. 

I even miss her sudden, make-me-jump-outta-my-skin barks to let us know that that people are coming to the door, or walking past the house or delivering a package. 

I miss her presence, her breathing in the night, her patrols after we go to bed, her shadowing us into and out of every room, her big brown doe eyes watching me.  

I miss picking up all of her toys at night and most of all I miss her sweet Kona licks (kisses).

Will this empty place in my heart ever feel normal? Maybe someday, but on the other hand, a part of me hopes it never will.  

Maybe that is the way it supposed to be.

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